Actually, you don't decide

At Marquette University in pleasant Milwaukee, Wisconsin, they are celebrating Mission Week, this year with the theme "Constructing Peace." So the College Republicans had the idea of setting up a table in the student union to promote a program called "Adopt a Sniper." According to Amanda Sheaffer in the Marquette Tribune it is not a program to promote random shootings, but to compensate for the failure of the US government to provide body armor to soldiers in Iraq. On the other hand, people who make a donation of 5 USD or more get a metal wristband and a tag with the slogan "One Shot, One Kill, No Remorse, I Decide" engraved on it. University spokesperson Brigid O'Brien says that the university decided not to permit the manifestation because adopting snipers was found to be "not consistent with the university's mission." Which led College Republicans president Brandon Henak, a senior at Marquette, to show how well he had been educated by declaring "It's obvious that they have liberal leanings — that's a Jesuit trait."


Anonymous said...

man, how does one write satire after this?!


Anonymous said...

Oh, my people.

There's a reason why the Onion is mainly composed of Wisconsin expatriates.

-- Carlos, Halfway Down the Danube's Wisconsin/NYC correspondent.

Eric Gordy said...

The news article does sound like a very lighthanded satire, but this movement does actually exist!


Although the university administration at Marquette felt compelled to act, which made it a news story, it looks like it's not just Marquette or Wisconsin. Which doesn't mean we can't make fun of Wisconsin anyway, of course.